Reflecting on the past 8 weeks
Lisa Katz
As I reflect on the past 8 weeks of being mostly at home, several themes emerge, mostly around control and the lack thereof. Being at home much of the time has put a focus on the domestic, those activities and things that create comfort, nurturing, rhythm, and a sense of safety. A daily activity has also been going for hikes in a variety of different preserves in the area. It occurs to me that I am working hard to try to create some control at home during a time that feels largely foreign and out of control. But when I am walking in the woods it feels “normal” and is the most calming part of each day. I have never had control over nature so being a visitor in the woods feels the same as it ever did – I can let go and be in the moment with my senses. Whether in my wild or domestic locales, finding beauty is helping me cope with the anxiety and despair I often feel about our present and future world.
So between the parts of a strange work day that doesn’t have a clear beginning or ending often, here’s what I’ve been doing. I put up a new clothesline and really love the smell and feel of clothes dried outside in the fresh air. We built two new raised garden beds for veggies and herbs. I never cease to be amazed that little plants unfailingly come from just poking seeds in the earth. I have spinach, beet, sunflower, pea, and lettuce babies so far. It thrills me to check on them each day! In the category of trying to create control where there is none, I have spent a lot of time collecting piles of blown down sticks and limbs all around our property. There has been something satisfying about “tidying” the woods into orderly piles and then burning them. Creation and destruction.
We have been eating really well – preparing and enjoying healthy and beautiful meals has been wonderful. My husband Ed has been doing his part as the family pandemic baker and we are all now accustomed to morning bedside delivery of coffee and baked goods. Having two young men in the house now instead of one means we go through large quantities of food. And laundry. And just about everything else. Having my college student son back at home took some adjustment for all of us but we have fallen into a more comfortable rhythm. I am grateful daily that we are all together, in health, living in a beautiful place.
To help mitigate the impacts of daily baked treats, I am walking or hiking about 3-5 miles daily. Our dog Ivy is thrilled with recent events. Her entire family is home with her and walks are long and plentiful. Here are some of the trails and preserves we have explored in recent weeks: Dodge Pt, River Link, Quarry Hill, Peter’s Pond, HVNC, Griggs, Schmid preserve, Pemaquid Loop, Laverna Preserve, Maguire Preserve, The Hart Trail, in Sheepscot, through Damariscotta Mills. We do a family walk with Ed’s parents each weekend. Ed’s mom is a botanist and she is a fount of information for plant identification and local history. Early in sheltering in place, I had fun painting smooth beach rocks and stashing them on trails for other hikers to find.
I’d like to report that I have a disciplined daily yoga and meditation practice but I don’t. I turn to those practices when needed but not as preventively or frequently as I’d like. I’d also like to report that I’m reading piles of books but I find my concentration level for reading is diminished. I’m making my way through Overstory by Richard Powers. I watch more tv than usual. Schitt’s Creek is entertaining me now – silly and mindless. Crossword puzzles and scrabble are a part of my daily routine too. Listening to simple folksy tunes and complex harmonies soothe my soul and mind – John Prine, The Wailin Jennys, Emmylou Harris, Simon and Garfunkel, and sometimes even Peter, Paul and Mary for really hard days.
Volunteer efforts in our family have included calling seniors all around the county to check on their well being, making face shields with one of the school’s 3-D printers, delivering groceries, helping friends with computer and tech problems, and donating to local organizations doing good work.
In sum, I have been moving between two poles – white knuckled grasping at a sense of agency and mastery in a changing world and in contrast, letting go with trust that all will be ok. I can swing from one to the other multiple times in a day. This ride is wild and bumpy but I have to hope that we will emerge stronger and wiser, with a greater appreciation of what’s truly important in life. Some images from this time are in a slide show below.
